Re-framing Success

Many people think there is a limited amount of success, happiness, money, love, etc. to go around. For instance, if Dr. Becky is successful in her practice, then Dr. James has lost some degree of his potential success to Dr. Becky. However, if Dr. James and Dr. Becky look at the number of doctors practicing in their area and compare that to the population of the city, they will see there are far more patients than either of them can see. If there are 15 doctors practicing in a city with a population of 21,000 and each of the 15 doctors have access to 1,400 patients, which is more than enough to build a thriving practice.

Instead of viewing the success of others as an indication of your impending failure, try the perspective that there is enough in the world for you and everyone else. I know it’s sometimes hard to accept that idea when you don’t have a clear view of just how vast things really are. If you’re single and go out on the town and see happy, loving couples all around you, it’s easy to assume all the great people have been taken and that means you’re doomed to live a life of solitude. If you were to take a look at a local singles website, however, you might be very surprised at how many wonderful singles are in your own backyard.

Believe it or not, someone else’s success in a particular area has no effect on your potential for success, other than to provide encouragement that it can be done. Success is something you can create rather than borrow. Instead of taking someone else’s clients or relationship, you can build your own from a completely different source but the key is in understanding this principle. What you see in front of you isn’t all there is, just like in the examples above.

In the future, try this. Instead of becoming depressed or feeling defeated when you notice someone else that has what you want, smile and say to yourself, “That’s for me! I’m going to have that, too! If they can do it, I can do it.” If you say this or something similar to it with intent behind your words, you will notice a shift in your attitude and you’ll find yourself feeling much more uplifted and optimistic and it is from this state of being you can be creative and find new avenues to your success.

The Real Reason Change is so Hard

Many people are desperate for change and yet they never seem to achieve it. It isn’t that they don’t try and it’s certainly not that they’re lazy. After all, they read books, attend classes, and visit experts but, in the end, they don’t realize their goal. So what’s going on to keep these people from getting to where they want to go?

The fundamental problem is they feel powerless. We’ve all been brought up to believe we aren’t capable enough or smart enough or worthy enough, etc. so we go to other people that we perceive as being capable, smart or worthy and we expect these people to make the change for us. We think the doctor, therapist, minister, counselor, teacher, or guru can do something to us that will bring about some fantastic transformation but the simple truth is nobody can ever change you. All change comes from within. These people might assist in the changes made by providing medication or surgical procedures that place our body in a healthier state so it can heal or providing tools and techniques to help us through a difficult or confusing time but none of them do the changing for us. In fact, all of these people have “problem” clients/patients that aren’t willing to go along with the recommendations made and, naturally, these clients/patients don’t improve very much, if at all.

The most important person you can ever believe in is you. You have the power to change your life and if you don’t see yourself as possessing that power, you will spend a lifetime chasing experts and techniques looking for the “right one” that will make all the changes for you. Ask yourself right now, “Do I have the ability, in and of myself, to make this change happen?” If you answer no, then make a list of all the reasons you don’t think you can and seriously examine them, then start changing them because it’s these beliefs that are holding you back. Only when you really believe you can accomplish your goal will any amount of knowledge or assistance be helpful to you. Trust me, I know. I used to chase information all the time. I spent 2 years looking for the “right technique” until I finally got the message that I already had everything I needed; I just had to start actually using it.

What’s the biggest lie you’ve ever been told? It’s that you are limited and incapable. You can achieve anything you want but you have to know that you can have it and that you deserve it. No matter where you’ve been or what you’ve done, you have the ability and the right to create a wonderful life and that creative process originates inside you, not outside. Looking for outside sources of permission or inspiration is a fast road to failure. After all, that’s what you’ve been doing all this time and you are any really closer to your goal? If you want a new technique that really works, try finding your source of strength, inspiration and guidance inside rather than outside. When you come from that internal source, the appropriate assistance such as books, seminars, techniques, teachers etc. will find you rather than you having to chase after them. Then, finally, the process of change can be simple.