Quality of Life versus Quantity of Life

The obituary tells of 2 men—one died at the age of 90 and the other at age 16. If you had to choose to be one of these men, which would you choose? Let’s delve a little deeper. Matthew, the 90 year old lived a hard life of manual labor. His body was gnarled and painful from the hard work he had done most of his life. He was always in pain and very sick and the amount of discomfort he was in made him very bitter. His attitude caused even his family members to dislike him and he died alone and with no friends. Anthony, the 16 year old, had what most would consider a happy life. He was well-liked and had many friends. He enjoyed plenty of hobbies and interests and was healthy and robust. He died instantly in a car accident. Now which would you choose?

We seem to think that the longer the life lived, the better it must be but this certainly isn’t always the case. Why do we as a society have such a hard time accepting the idea that what matters in life is how much you enjoy the time you have and not how long you’re here? When interviewed about what they regret most in life, the overwhelming majority of senior citizens say they regret not doing the things they always wanted to do, such as travel to a place they’ve always had an interest in, learn to play an instrument, spend more time with their loved ones, etc. You never hear, “I wish I’d spent more time at the office.” Advice like, “Live every moment like it was your last” seems to fall on deaf ears as we muddle through life putting off all the things we enjoy in favor of all the things we dislike.

Is it any wonder that so many people are unhappy? Most of our time is spent doing things that stress us out and so very little time is spent doing things that make us feel good. In fact, we even teach each other and ourselves that we should postpone the things we enjoy until all the things we don’t enjoy are finished, no matter how long that might take. We live for weekends, holidays and vacations. In January, we sit and dream of our 2 weeks off in July and convince ourselves that that tiny respite is somehow enough to make everything alright…until vacation is over and it’s time to go back to work.

I think the mentality goes something like, “But the longer you’re here, the more of a chance you have to change things for the better.” The problem, though, is if you keep doing things the way you’ve always done them you’re just going to succeed in dragging out the unhappiness. In other words, if you’re assuming that living a life filled with things you don’t like is somehow going to give you the opportunity to have a life filled with things you do like, you’re only going to succeed in living a longer life filled with things you don’t like.

To have a different life literally only takes a second. All it takes is to decide to do things differently and then do them and the next thing you know, life has turned around and you’re doing the things you enjoy. No, this doesn’t mean you’ll instantly be able to tour Europe or buy a mansion but it does mean you’ll be able to fill your life with more enjoyable things right now instead of waiting for when you retire. After all, what if you don’t see retirement? My grandfather used to talk about his plans for retirement and how great it would be. All the fishing he would do and the things he wanted to experience. He retired at age 65 and shortly thereafter died. He never had the chance to do any of the things he wanted to do. What is the point in putting these things off when you don’t know that you’ll even be here 5 minutes from now? We keep planning for the future when the only thing we ever have is the present so why aren’t we making it as pleasant as we can?

There seems to be this idea that it’s just not that simple. That somehow life won’t let us be happy that easily. The problem with that thinking is there are plenty of people who do live the type of life I’m talking about and they’re ordinary human beings like the rest of us. They simply made a choice to live a life full of as many enjoyable moments as they could and they act on that decision every chance they get.

I remember hearing a local news anchorwoman telling a story about her son. She said, “When he was very young, around 8 years old, my son said, ‘Mom, I’m only going to take jobs I like’ and I thought, ‘How naive; how child-like.’ Part of me wanted to tell him that it doesn’t work that way but he was so young, I didn’t want to disappoint him. Now he’s in his mid 20’s and very successful and you know what? He did exactly what he said he was going to do. He only ever took jobs he wanted and never the ones that just came along and offered good money. I see now how wise he was when he was only 8 and wish I had had that insight earlier in my life.”

A tedious, stressful life that lasts 100 years or a happy, joyful one that lasts 30. Which would you rather live?